Menace To Society…
(I figure by now, about 7:30 PM EDT on Memorial Day, you have had your fill of Facebook statuses lauding the efforts of our soldiers by people who will now spend the next 364 not giving a shit about world events. So I want to give you something else to chew on for a while…)
I will readily admit that, every once in a while, it’s a little difficult to find inspiration for a new post around here. Sometimes there just isn’t that much going on. Other times, however, a subject almost literally falls into my lap. This is one of those times.
Let me start by giving you a little background on how this subject came to my attention. If you are a parent, you
should be, no, fuck that, NEED to be following Lenore Skenazy. Lenore is a syndicated columnist and the HNIC (Look up the acronym at Urban Dictionary if you never saw “Lean On Me”) over at the Free Range Kids movement, which promotes raising children by giving them enough space and opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them, even if it means (Gasp!) incurring some pain and heartache along the way. Needless to say to anyone who has spent anytime reading my parenting rants, I am a huge supporter of this philosophy. So anyway, yesterday on Twitter, Lenore (@Freerangekids) tweeted (Does anyone else get the douche chills saying the word “Tweeted”? No? Just me? OK…) a link to a blog post written by a mom on a blog site called “Mamapedia”. The link is here. I posted a link so that you can read the whole thing. This way, I can’t be accused of taking things out of context by just pasting specific quotes from the post. Also, I am about to eviscerate this idiot, so I figure I could at least pump up her views a bit. Go ahead and read. I’ll wait here…
You back? OK, good. Let’s roll…
What a complete fucking menace this woman is. I have so many issues with the horror show that is the author that I want to take them step by step:
as I played with my toddlers in the sandbox, the man continued to sit there with kids playing all around him. It dawned on me something might be off when I realized I hadn’t seen anyone engage him the entire time we were there – no child, no adult. Usually at a playground you can match kid with parent/nanny/ responsible adult fairly quickly, right?
First of all, supermom, stop pretending you were engaged in your kids activities. You weren’t. You were too busy checking out the scene. You were too interested in matching up each kid with a guardian to be paying any attention to what your kids were doing. You were ignoring your kids. It’s OK, I ignore my kids at the playground all the time. But be honest about it.
When not playing with our children, we are sitting nearby on benches with snacks and sippy cups and only occasionally checking our phones…
Anyone else’s bullshit detector go ape shit when she says she was “only occasionally” checking her phone?
What was he doing here? Did he suffer from Alzheimer’s? Dementia? Or worse?
Here’s your answer, sweetheart: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS! He’s a guy sitting on a bench in a park. He’s not engaging your kids, not staring at your kids, not blowing sweet kisses to your kids, not trying to persuade your kids to jingle the change in his pants pocket. He is sitting on a bench. Get over it.
Maybe he did have Alzheimer’s and needed someone’s help. Or maybe it was something creepier and I could have called the police.
Stop pretending you had any concern at all for this guys well-being. Like you gave the slightest hint of a shit whether or not he had Alzheimer’s. This, like I imagine everything else in your life, was all about YOU. And call the police? And say what? That a guy is sitting on a bench in a park and didn’t take the time to justify his presence to you? That’s some God complex you’re waddling around with.
She then goes on to tell us of another situation, later on, where she did actually approach an imaginary pedophile…
He sat at the far end of the playground, on a bench, and looked down at his cell phone the entire time. No kids came near him.
Great. Now a guy in Minneapolis can’t sit outside playing a little Angry Birds without being confronted by this retard.
I walked over to the man and asked him which kids were his. He was immediately defensive and essentially told me it was none of my business.
Lady, this was best case scenario for you. “Essentially” told you to mind your own business? You are exceptionally lucky that the stranger you approached wasn’t a guy like me, cause I would have verbally assaulted you in such a horrifying way that you would have been left a whimpering pile of tears and phlegm on the rubberized playground floor…
He finally got up and walked me over to the other side of the playground where his what looked to be 12- and 13-year-old son and daughter were playing. They saw us and looked up quizzically as we approached. “Dad?” they said.
To which I would have replied ” Kids, listen up. I’m sure by now you have heard the word “Cunt”, but probably aren’t old enough to know what it really means. Now, I don’t ever want to hear you say this word, but you should know that this (points at woman), this is a cunt. You may now return to your tether-ball game.”
All of this leads to the defining grand finale:
What did I learn? You know, I honestly would do it again.
Of course. Just when you think this may be a cautionary tale of a mom learning not to be judgmental and paranoid to the point of mania, she assures you that she learned nothing. Not a goddamn thing. And that she, and many others like her, are lurking in a park near you.
This woman is a menace to society. This is exactly the kind of parenting that has led to a generation of over-indulged, obnoxious little assholes with an undeserved sense of entitlement. This woman is causing far more damage to her children than any stranger in any park, regardless of his background or his intentions. What her kids learned that day is that they have the right to question anyone, even if that potential predator is simply an old man on a bench, who is not posing any threat to them at all. They learned that their right to be fucking nosy far outweighs anyone else’s right to be left alone. Wow, what pieces of shit they are bound to grow into.
I wish I knew this woman personally. I would love to follow her around and constantly question who she is and what she is doing. Maybe she walks into a Home Depot and is walking down the aisle where grill supplies are sold. Maybe I could loudly question why a woman is alone in an aisle that sells items that are generally used by men. Is she there for a lighter? Is she there for a lighter so she can light neighborhood dogs on fire? As a dog owner, don’t I have the right to know what she is doing looking at grill supplies?
You know who this woman is? She is this woman. (Cue flashback)
And this woman:
Below the post, in the comments section, someone posted something interesting in response. I can’t seem to find it now to paste and give credit to the person who researched it, so I have to paraphrase. The research this guy quoted stated that something like 70% of stranger abductions were committed by women. So this jackass lady doesn’t even know how to profile correctly.
Look, I have no problem being completely aware of your surroundings when out with your kids. In fact, a woman should be aware of her surroundings whenever she is out, kids or not. But to feel entitled to question a perfect stranger because of your ill-conceived judgements and small-mindedness is so arrogant, even this arrogantSOB is stunned. What exactly are you protecting the worlds children from ? A miniscule abduction rate, one that is inflated by a fear mongering media? Were either of the gentleman you victimized gonna try to fingerbang your little angel right in front of you in the sandbox? No. So let’s call this what it is: A busybody bitch feeling compelled to get involved in someone else’s business. Someone creeping you at at the park? Take your kids and go home. Unless someone is in imminent danger, which was not the case here, that is your only reasonable option.
And if a well dressed older man on a bench in a park talking to no one should have warranted a call to the cops, who do you think she would call if a young black guy was on her block not hanging off the back of a garbage truck? The Marines? Interpol? George Zimmerman?
And I love how she pats herself on the back for looking after, not only her own, but all children. Lady, I would sooner let my kids spend an unsupervised week at Neverland Ranch (Well, especially now that he’s dead) than spend a half-hour playdate with you. God knows what toxic fear and bigotry you would poison them with.
Oh and her tagline at the bottom of her post?
Helen Smolinski is a mother and once sat behind Madonna at a movie.
Shit, where’s John Wilkes Booth when you really need him? Could have solved two problems in one theater…
P.S. Freerangekids.com is Lenore Skenazy’s website and has loads of great information and posts. Check it out…